You gotta get your thoughts out.

Jimbo Fisher is back in the headlines, with his rant on the ACC Network about the whole Lane Kiffin situation garnering plenty of attention from college football media – mostly because we don’t often see coaches speak this strongly and this negatively about their colleagues in public.

It’s a good soundbite, but we’re not really here to talk about the content of his message. Instead, we’re going to talk about something much more important: just how dang fast Jimbo speaks.

Florida State beat writers long joked about the rite of passage for new reporters learning to transcribe the West Virginia native, and he has really taken to his new role in the media by often cramming more information into game broadcasts than casual viewers can digest.

Fisher stands out even among coaches – who value getting a long, detailed playcall into the headset of a quarterback with as many second remaining on the playclock as possible – but my millennial brain wants to take this one step further, and see how he compares to another industry that prioritizes a quick wit and quick verses.

By just about any objective measure, Twista holds the title of fastest (mainstream) rapper alive. He even set the standard with a Guinness Book of World Records entry in 1992 for World’s Fastest Rapper for spitting out 585 syllables in just 55 seconds. FiveThirtyEight verified that honorific in 2014, clocking the Chicago rapper at 280 words per minute in his Mista Tung Twista song.

You can see where we’re going here. I took the clip of Jimbo above, which to be clear is almost certainly not the fastest he has talked in a public forum, and tried to figure out how he compares to the World’s Fastest Rapper.

After careful analysis, Jimbo starts talking at the 44 second mark of the video, and speaks nearly uninterrupted for right at 90 seconds. By the time he wraps his diatribe up, he has pumped out 426 words, good for a startling 284 words per minute, just barely faster than Twista! Mission accomplished, we did it boys.

Where we get tangled up, however, is the syllable count. Jimbo clears as many words as he does in this clip by keeping things simple – the longest word by letter and syllable count in the whole speech is literally – and only notches 548 syllables in total. If we scale down to the 55 second mark that netted Twista the Guinness record, Jimbo would only be at 335 syllables, well shy of the 585 number to beat.

Verdict: Jimbo is a quicker speaker, but not faster overall at producing words than Twista

A certain corner of the Ole Miss internet fandom has taken to calling new head coach Pete Golding “Widespread Pete” because, well, because he kind of looks exactly like every guy you’ll ever see at a Widespread Panic show. I have no idea if he’s actually a Spreadhead or not, but this is my favorite running bit remaining in the playoff.

For some reason, the college football powers that be insist on staging the playoff semifinals on weeknights. Make a nice, simple pasta like this one from Milk Street that cooks in 20 minutes so you can be prepped and ready for the games.

First, let’s get this out of the way: Ohhhhhhhhhh my god, this is a fun matchup and just an unbelievable clash of styles. Before we even get to the narratives around each program, we have the best offense remaining in the tournament takes on the hottest defense running in the country and some really interesting pieces on the other side of the ball as well.

Miami figured out in the second half of the year that its best path to success was to take any and all risk out of Carson Beck throws, and play as little football as possible (9th most seconds per snap on offense), shortening games and letting an insane pass rush do most of the work to make impact plays. Defensive ends Rueben Bain and Akheem Mesidor have combined for 27(!) pressures in their two playoff games, helping to force critical turnovers from Marcel Reed and Julian Sayin. 

The Miami pass rush might have its stiffest test yet, because Ole Miss found a Johnny Manziel looper in DII who really doesn’t take sacks and gives him free reign to just go nuts and make things happen. Trinidad Chambliss has been a revelation despite coming into the season as a backup, and you could make an argument that his creative magic alone won the Sugar Bowl for the Rebels. Ole Miss doesn’t have nearly as much star power on defense, but linebacker Suntarine Perkins has been an agent of havoc in the playoffs – 4.5 TFLs, 1 sack, 2 forced fumbles, 2 recovered fumbles – and he could shift the game on his own as well.

Back to the vibes, this is such a weird moment for both programs.

Miami is on the precipice of really, actually, no we’re serious this time guys, being back. After five national titles from 1983 to 2001, The U has been essentially dormant ever since the rest of the country figured out they could recruit south Florida too. Now prodigal son Mario Cristobal has the Hurricanes in prime position to play in their first national title game in 25 years, oh, and that game is going to be in Miami. With an assortment of homegrown talent on defense and a high-dollar (if frustrating) transfer quarterback, the stars have never been more aligned for The U to reassert itself as a powerhouse.

On the other sideline, it’s true chaos.

There’s a post that goes around various social media networks every few months asking what movie would be best reenacted similar to A Muppets Christmas Carol with just one human actor and the rest of the cast replaced by muppets – everyone always says Lord of the Rings or John Wick, but the real answer for me is Ocean’s Eleven with George Clooney. Well, Ole Miss is kind of doing that right now with Pete Golding and whoever else Lane Kiffin permits to stand on the sideline with him, which apparently changes week to week.

We’re getting two different versions of the tropey sports movie in this game, the return to glory and the upstart who nobody (even their coach!) believed in. It’s going to be fireworks either way.

Prediction: Trinidad Chambliss has a (relatively) rough first half but finds his tempo against the Miami pass rush to stage a comeback and set up a game-winning field goal from kicker Lucas Carneiro

One of my favorite sports trivia questions has been “Who was the last college football team to win its first national championship?”

We’ve been stuck on the same answer for awhile now, with Steve Spurrier and Florida earning their first title in 1996, just three years after Bobby Bowden and Florida State did the same in 1993 (it makes the trivia a lot less fun, but for my money you could include UCF’s totally valid 2017 claim as the correct answer as well).

Well, one of these two teams is going to enter the title tilt as the favorite to rewrite the question. Oregon has come close a few times, falling just short in the 2010 and 2014 title games, and is usually the team that comes up first when someone asks who the next first title winner will be. Indiana has literally never been mentioned in that conversation until this year, producing probably the worst output of any major conference team in the last century or so of college football.

On the field, I think this is the matchup of the two best teams in the country. Neither has a true weakness, ranking in the top ten in essentially every available offensive and defensive advanced metric available, and each possesses a high ceiling thanks to a collection of playmakers that keeps opponents from keying in on any one threat.

The Ducks and Hooisers met once already this season, with Indiana holding on to a 30-20 win in Eugene. Indiana controlled the game throughout, and Oregon quarterback Dante Moore had his worst game of the year, but the game was still tied midway into the fourth quarter. Moore has improved significantly since that matchup, and his performance will likely dictate the outcome.

It’s completely anecdotal, but this stage of the season feels like the time where explosive performances from tight ends crop up more often than any other. Oregon has a true weapon in that role, with the massive Kenyon Sadiq looming as a potential gamebreaker.

Prediction: The game starts slow, with everyone feeling each other out. A flurry of traded punches in the third quarter gives Oregon a two score lead, but Fernando Mendoza throws a late touchdown to give the Hoosiers hope. Their comeback attempt peters out with a desperation long ball picked off in Oregon territory.

We had some truly incredible championship games in the lower levels, so take a minute to bask in the moments that led to more hardware getting handed out across the country.

This was the game of the year, all levels of the sport. Heavily favored Montana State, chasing their first title since 1984, nearly blew a big lead to an Illinois State team on an all-time heater. 

Mistakes played a massive role in the outcome, as the Bobcats had nine (9!) false start penalties alone in the game. The Redbirds had a last-minute potential game-winning field goal blocked, and then another on the extra point following their first touchdown in overtime. 

It almost didn’t matter, after their blitz-heavy defense forced Montana State into a do-or-die 4th and 10. They sent seven rushers after quarterback Justin Lamson, who coolly stared down the cavalry and found star receiver Taco Dowler in the corner of Vanderbilt Stadium’s endzone for a stunning victory.

Here, just watch that play again:

Trinidad Chambliss’ former team didn’t miss a beat without him, running the table and barely breaking a sweat against the next-best team in the division.

Another absolute banger in the lower levels. UW-River Falls was horrific at football for years, missing the playoffs in every year since 1996, and now has its first title after upending the dynastic North Central. 

What’s most stunning about this turnaround is that the Falcons managed this turnaround without changing coaches. Matt Walker had nine consecutive losing seasons to start his tenure, before completely changing his coaching philosophy during the canceled COVID season and installing the most prolific offense across the NCAA this year.